A reader writes... I have been dating my girlfriend for three years. In the past few months, she has grown really cold toward our relationship. I am quite busy, and I didn't go out with her for about a month. During that time, she got really close with another guy. She was hanging out with him, clubbing until 5 a.m. I try to do anything I can to please her, but there's been very little chance for me to meet up with her lately because she has been really busy. What should I do? I am not an obsessive person by the way. I just want things the way they were before.

Compete with the new boyfriend

Buy her a stunning gift

Be available more often

Fly around the earth backwards and turn back time

1118 people have voted in this poll. See results

A reader writes... Q: I'm married but for the past seven years my wife has had no time for me and obviously no longer loves me. We stay together because we can't afford to live apart. We both work for the same employer but in different areas. About 18 months ago I fell in love with a married co-worker. She seemed happily married until about a year ago. She shared all of their problems with me when she needed someone to talk to. I felt this brought me closer to her. About six months ago she went to work in a different part of our building. I found myself realizing how much I had been missing her everytime we ran into each other. I think about her when I go to sleep at night and start thinking about her when I wake up in the morning. A couple of months ago she told me that she had forgiven her husband for everything even though he is a total jerk. I am devestated and am thinking that I'm all alone again -- I've lost something that I thought could make me happy. What should I do -- I still want us to end our marriages and be together.

	28% (340)	...try to make it work with his wife
	2% (30)	...make a passionate play for the other woman
	0% (8)	...wait... the other woman will come back
	9% (115)	...get used to being alone
	58% (693)	...get a divorce and start fresh with an unattached woman

A reader writes... Q: I am married to a handsome man and have two beautiful young children. Recently, I admired someone from work and we had a short affair. Now, I just can't get him off my mind. We still see each other, but only at work and we never really talk anymore. During our affair time, he told me he was single but later I found out that he has a girlfriend. I don't know why, but I just can't get him out of my mind. I always want to know if he thinks of me or if he's watching me. I don't want to destroy my marriage, but I can't help it. What should I do?

	0% (11)	... try again with the affair
	18% (237)	... end the affair for good
	2% (36)	... keep seeing both men
	77% (989)	... take a good look at her "beautiful children" and THINK

A reader writes: Q: Me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for the past 5 months. Six months ago she broke up with her then-fiance after he accused her of cheating on him.

I had been friends with both of them. He absolutely hates me and thinks I stole her away from him. But he has made a strong effort to stay friends with my girlfriend.

They are also co-workers. My girlfriend mentions him in conversation often, including what he's recently said about me. I've had numerous dreams where he's in them and we reconcile, and I'm almost obsessing over him at this point, thinking if he's happy it must mean impending doom for my relationship.

It also bothers me that she just bought him a birthday present.

If I bring up my concerns about him to my girlfriend she tells me she won't be in another relationship where she's constantly being distrusted. What can I do to put my mind at ease?

	2% (11)	Give the g/f a choice: Him or me
	44% (194)	Have a long talk with the g/f about boundaries
	8% (36)	Have a long talk with the ex about boundaries
	34% (151)	Get out of this relationship. Now.
	9% (43)	Wait. Maybe it will get better.

A reader writes... Q: What's the proper etiquette for telling someone that they gave you an STD? I've been dating this guy for six weeks and recently developed a burning sensation. I went to my doctor, who says it's chlamydia. She gave me antibiotics, which will kill the infection, but obviously I cannot sleep with this guy again. He told me he wasn't dating anyone else. Now that I know he was lying I'm inclined to break up with him. Should I tell him about the STD or just break it off?

	73% (793)	Face to face, just like when it happened.
	9% (101)	A letter, e-mail or phone call.
	2% (31)	Give him/her one back.
	14% (154)	Violence is never the answer. But...

A reader writes... Q: I'm in a situation where my heart refuses to obey my mind. Nine years ago, I met this girl, let's call her "Stacey," at a convention. In the emails that followed, I was shocked at how much the two of us had in common. Our tastes on everything were both so eccentric yet so similar, it was like we could read each others minds! We quickly became friends... but I fell completely in love.

She's a sharp girl; she obviously knows I have some amorous feelings (though probably not to what extent), but I'm also certain that she doesn't see me in that light at all.

Nine years later, we're still just friends, and I'm still in love. We've never been on a date. I have dated plenty of other girls in that time, but Stacey is always in the back of my mind. Try as a might, I don't think I've ever gone a day without thinking about her at least once, and its killing me! I feel ashamed and angry at myself that I can't just get over this girl. This isn't normal!

I've tried to "fade out," but eventually she always attempts to re-affirm our friendship and keep me within her reach.

There must be a way for me to cure this obsession. I know it sounds cheesy, but is there a cure for love?

	88% (504)	Yes. Ask her out already! If she declines, move on.
	11% (64)	No. It's been nine years! It's not gonna happen.

A reader writes... Q: Do you have any advice on how to handle friendships when you're in a relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and we're doing great, but he doesn't love my friends and his pals bore me. Should we try to make friends with new people or just accept that we'll hang out with our friends separately forever?

	6% (49)	Yes! It's crucial to the relationship
	16% (136)	No! I'm dating one person, not the person's friends
	77% (631)	Maximize the friends you can stomach, and downplay the ones you can't stand